Skip to main content

My child was in great anguish

It has been three months since my 15-year-old assigned male at birth child told us in a letter (two pages typed) that she was transgender. Admittedly, it took us by surprise to hear her say she wanted to live the rest of her life as a female. We did not see it coming and the memories of her obsession with construction, then superheroes, then Star Wars flashed in my mind. She had been a "happy little boy" growing up.

She sat with us while we read the letter, our eyes both watering. I stood up and hugged her, told her I loved her no matter what and that I had a lot to learn and would need time to process. She was understanding.

Since that day, I have read all I can, found a wonderful therapist for her, and joined supportive groups like PFLAG and groups I found online. I have learned a lot and have a lot to still learn. No child asks to experience gender dysphoria nor do they want to subject themselves to teasing and bullying.

Our gender-affirming therapist initially recommended that my child not undergo hormone therapy until age 18. I was happy about this as I wanted to take the process slow and like many parents, wanted to be sure we were heading in the right direction before starting with hormones.

After two months, our therapist was convinced that the dysphoria my child was experiencing was in fact so detrimental to their mental health, that she encouraged us to speak with an endocrinologist about hormones.

The therapist's encouragement to speak with an endocrinologist came from her understanding that my child was in great anguish. As the therapist shared some of the thoughts and experiences that my daughter shared with her, I came on board with her recommendation.

The experienced endocrinologist listened to my concerns and assured me that the percentage of transgender teens who regret taking hormones before age 18 was extremely low. She agreed to start her on a very low dose. My daughter was so happy on the drive home and that alone helped me to feel I had made the right decision.

She has been happier ever since meeting with the endocrinologist, knowing that we are all moving forward and supporting her to feel comfortable in her skin. I will continue to do whatever it takes to support her on her journey.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An outraged mother

I am outraged at the statement by the VCPA sponsor that allowing a doctor to prescribe testosterone, an FDA-approved medication, for my 15-year-old child is child abuse. Having grown up in an abusive household, I know the difference between acceptance and abuse. Prior to being prescribed testosterone, my child was depressed, lonely, and always questioning themselves. They never felt in their right place in the body and they contemplated self-harm. Since beginning testosterone injections, my child is happy, talkative, and more confident in their interactions with family, friends, and classmates. They no longer contemplate self-harm and are not depressed. The difference has been like day and night, from sadness to joy. This is love, not abuse. As a parent, I am supposed to provide for my child, to help keep him safe and allow him to be his best self. Parents will not sit idly by and let the state substitute its judgment for that of the child, parent, and medical professionals provi

What does the family with a transgender kid look like?

My name is Ann Miller. I'm a wife of 34 years, a mother of two, a grandmother of one. My career was retail management until I left it to be a stay at home mom. I took my kids to church, to scouts, to the lake, and to the library. My husband has his own business as a financial advisor and educator. We own a home, two cars, and a boat. We work, shop, pay taxes, save for retirement, and live in the absolutely most conventional way imaginable. And we have a transgender son. A transgender guy is assigned female at birth and in our child's case, lived 17 years as a female. I can look back on his growing up now with clarity and realize how much in denial I was about his struggle. I first heard about transgender children when my child was about eight or nine. I remember thinking then, "Oh no! I might have this in my future." because said assigned girl child was so very insistent on loving all things boyish: wanting to wear boy clothes, play "boy" games, have boys

Humanity's true superpowers

My name is Robert and I am a parent of a transgender daughter. My daughter, assigned male at birth, grew up in a loving home comprised of mom, dad, and two older sisters. Our daughter's journey has been tumultuous to say the least. Her physiology (male anatomy) did not match her psychology (female identity). This was a fact of which she was aware at a very young age. She would be brought to the threshold of tears nearly daily when at school she was placed in a line with the boys when her mind was screaming that she should be lining up with the other girls. It was a personal pain that she harbored as for many years she was unable to find the language that would enable her to share it with us. This dissonance resulted in year after year of persistent bullying at the hands of her school peers. This harassment and mental anguish our daughter shouldered bravely day after day at school, but it haunted her once home. It was a personal pain that she harbored as for many years she was