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My child was in great anguish

It has been three months since my 15-year-old assigned male at birth child told us in a letter (two pages typed) that she was transgender. Admittedly, it took us by surprise to hear her say she wanted to live the rest of her life as a female. We did not see it coming and the memories of her obsession with construction, then superheroes, then Star Wars flashed in my mind. She had been a "happy little boy" growing up. She sat with us while we read the letter, our eyes both watering. I stood up and hugged her, told her I loved her no matter what and that I had a lot to learn and would need time to process. She was understanding. Since that day, I have read all I can, found a wonderful therapist for her, and joined supportive groups like PFLAG and groups I found online. I have learned a lot and have a lot to still learn. No child asks to experience gender dysphoria nor do they want to subject themselves to teasing and bullying. Our gender-affirming therapist initially recom...

A hero and their journey

Joseph Campbell said “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” Before heroes are able to rely on their strengths – intellectually, physically, and emotionally -- they must make the journey - the adventure - to discover their authentic selves. This begins in their ordinary world with them being completely unaware of their hero potential, believing that they are the weird kid or that something is wrong with them. Then something happens in their life – oh, let’s say puberty or just growing up – and they are called to their adventure. Our youngest daughter is fifteen years old. When she was born, the hospital checked the box for male on her birth certificate and so that is how we knew her. As a boy. Prior to her reaching puberty, she was living a normal kid’s life, enjoying her advanced classes at school, participating in science and engineering camps, creating art, and learning to play jazz on the trombone; however, once she hit puberty, we noticed her grades slipping an...

What does the family with a transgender kid look like?

My name is Ann Miller. I'm a wife of 34 years, a mother of two, a grandmother of one. My career was retail management until I left it to be a stay at home mom. I took my kids to church, to scouts, to the lake, and to the library. My husband has his own business as a financial advisor and educator. We own a home, two cars, and a boat. We work, shop, pay taxes, save for retirement, and live in the absolutely most conventional way imaginable. And we have a transgender son. A transgender guy is assigned female at birth and in our child's case, lived 17 years as a female. I can look back on his growing up now with clarity and realize how much in denial I was about his struggle. I first heard about transgender children when my child was about eight or nine. I remember thinking then, "Oh no! I might have this in my future." because said assigned girl child was so very insistent on loving all things boyish: wanting to wear boy clothes, play "boy" games, have boys ...